Assuage any offense you might cause while causing offense, by using the proper terminology.

• Polish
  Differently intelligent
• Asian
  Ocularly inclined
• Gay
  Dorsally inclined
• Lesbian
  Esthetically diverse and vaginally dysfunctional
• Caucasian
  Rhythmically deprived bullwhip bearer
• Indian
  Perspirationally enhanced
• Black
  Ambitionally challenged melanin affliction
• Jew
  Fiscally mindful ankylrhinian
• Native American
  Retroactively advanced opiate connoisseur
• Mexican American
  Differently employed legume aficionado