Category — The List

Yes, it’s sex in the age of Obama. Herewith, pillow talk for the politically minded: some for men, some for women, and gosh darn-it, some for the whole fam damily. Utter at your own risk. And hold on tight.

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The Make-a-Wish Foundation has to be one of the most amazing charities on the planet. They’ve helped thousands of kids all over the world. They’ve instilled joy and relieved pain. The only problem is, not all dying kids are good kids. So, in the spirit of “bad kids are people, too”, we present the following suggestions.

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The number of words in Barack Obama’s presidential inauguration address was 2,412. Here it is in 666.

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After 8 1/2 years, the long-unawaited sequel to this has arrived…

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Assuage any offense you might cause while causing offense, by using the proper terminology.

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There’s clearly a deficit of intellectual responses to our current global financial crisis. Let me add to that deficit. [Read more →]

As of this writing, the following website domain names are available for purchase from Network Solutions for only $9.00 a year. Get ‘em while you can. [Read more →]

Since voting this year can’t possibly be fun, here are a few things that might be. [Read more →]

1. If people like Mike Bloomberg and John McCain can dry hump and glory hole the wall which divides the political sides of America… [Read more →]

Having trouble meeting the little ones? Here are some techniques that might help you improve your game. [Read more →]

You know, if you’re conducting some form of talk show and attempting to entertain and/or indoctrinate me through an interview via a remote location, why is the background for the remote person always the same goddamn thing? Why does it always look like the person is sitting on a barge in the East River or standing in a hot air balloon above the Transamerica Pyramid? Why can’t he just be inside a goddamn room with a lamp in the back? I mean, if an expert is attempting to convince me that al-Qaeda is responsible for the sub-prime mortgage crisis or that Bush munches on baby legs in his underground lair, try to spice it up with backgrounds like these… [Read more →]

Below is a list of the “lucky 6″ contenders for the new mascot of the 2008 Beijing Olympics…seriously. Don’t doubt me…I have connections, mofo. [Read more →]

1. He’s black.    [Read more →]

As we all know, I’m a penitent man, worshiping the mere suggestion of a possible deity and the various divine activities which come along with sticking your nose up the ass of the Almighty. Oh, you should see me in the thrall of such activities. How I gesticulate when I genuflect… nothing else gets my onanism on. Alas, not everyone is like me, and our brothers and sisters of spiritual authority have seen fit to retrofit religion with modern culture. Without them, would such genius as Bibleman and Christian rock have been born? But we can’t stop with superheroes and mere horrible contributions to sound. Truly, we need more…maybe something along these lines… [Read more →]

• Sparky … Peanut Butter
• Subdued IRS agent … Tire iron
• Funeral … Orgy
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