Category — The List

1. If people like Mike Bloomberg and John McCain can dry hump and glory hole the wall which divides the political sides of America… [Read more →]

Having trouble meeting the little ones? Here are some techniques that might help you improve your game. [Read more →]

You know, if you’re conducting some form of talk show and attempting to entertain and/or indoctrinate me through an interview via a remote location, why is the background for the remote person always the same goddamn thing? Why does it always look like the person is sitting on a barge in the East River or standing in a hot air balloon above the Transamerica Pyramid? Why can’t he just be inside a goddamn room with a lamp in the back? I mean, if an expert is attempting to convince me that al-Qaeda is responsible for the sub-prime mortgage crisis or that Bush munches on baby legs in his underground lair, try to spice it up with backgrounds like these… [Read more →]

Below is a list of the “lucky 6″ contenders for the new mascot of the 2008 Beijing Olympics…seriously. Don’t doubt me…I have connections, mofo. [Read more →]

1. He’s black.    [Read more →]

As we all know, I’m a penitent man, worshiping the mere suggestion of a possible deity and the various divine activities which come along with sticking your nose up the ass of the Almighty. Oh, you should see me in the thrall of such activities. How I gesticulate when I genuflect… nothing else gets my onanism on. Alas, not everyone is like me, and our brothers and sisters of spiritual authority have seen fit to retrofit religion with modern culture. Without them, would such genius as Bibleman and Christian rock have been born? But we can’t stop with superheroes and mere horrible contributions to sound. Truly, we need more…maybe something along these lines… [Read more →]

• Sparky … Peanut Butter
• Subdued IRS agent … Tire iron
• Funeral … Orgy
• [Read more →]