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Pre-Written Employment Cover Letters You Can Use
Any Position
by Jason Roth
Dear Sir,
It is in the interests of a society to employ those individuals who, through no fault of their own, have arrived at a crossroads in their lives and are, sadly, no longer capable of providing themselves with the sustenance demanded by society's ruthless worship of material goods.
If you don't give me this job, motherfucker, I'm going to chop your body up into so many fucking pieces, your own mother won't even recognize you. And if that's not enough, I'll make your family watch while I eat every last bit of you, head to fucking toe. What I do to your wife and kids, let's just leave that to your imagination.
Thanks very much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Mildred Folley
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