To whom it may concern,
Please accept my application for employment for the position of Director of Creative Services at your advertising agency.
As my creative experience speaks for itself, let me offer just one additional piece of evidence as to why I believe I am qualified for the position: the first letters of every word in this letter are identical to those in one of my all-time favorite Shakespearean quotes.
Furthermore, treating every letter in this paragraph as a well-known mathematical constant from the field of quantum field theory, you will find that the sum total of those constants, when reversed and subtracted from today's date, equals the number of dots and dashes in the SOS equivalent of the Shakespearean quote.
I'd be happy to reveal the Shakespearean quote to you during the interview, after which we may discuss my recommendations on the proper creative approach to take on your next Budweiser talking frog commercial. Call me, bitch.
Sincerely,
Andy Friedman
