So, you've found yourself in one of those sticky situations in which a bunch of Islamic fundamentalists have forced you to take time away from filing the HMO forms? Or perhaps acts of terrorism have prevented you from reorganizing the Walt Disney World vacation brochures - and have actually forced you to work?
It's not easy being a human resources "generalist". But don't fret. As with all other aspects of your job, the Human Resources Propaganda Corporation of America is here to help you spoon-feed your employees an appropriate dose of nonsense to propagate the illusion that your company cares. (While, of course, not attempting to produce any real value in the process.)
So feel free to forward this web page to all employees at your company. Please be aware, however, that we cannot be held liable for any psychological or physical side-effects that may occur as a result of an employee acting on this advice. (Just make sure to mention the same responsibility-dodging bullshit, and you'll be off the hook, too!)
The Manual:
