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The Savethehumans.com
Self-Gratification
of the Day Award
For the most unnecessary - but coolest - product, website, or doodad of the day.
Inspired by the editorial On Triple Splitz-O Cups and Starving Children, the savethehumans.com Self-Gratification of the Day Award is for something gimmicky, sugary, materialistic, loud, fast, silly, and if you're lucky, made out of plastic.
The Award is presented five days a week to the item that is most necessary because it is completely unnecessary. Winners of the Award deserve respect, because they have provided mankind with a sense of pleasure and joy that is completely socially unconscious and totally awesome because of it.
Whether it's an amazing new kind of candy, an expensive adult toy, a website perfectly skilled in the art of eating up one's time, or some other as yet undiscovered album, food, or gadget, the Award-winner is something guaranteed to make you smile more than driving your unwearable clothes to the Salvation Army, conserving fuel, or giving up your spare change to a wino just to keep his smelly, drunk ass the hell away from you.
The Award is for the special item that makes both the religious conservative and the anti-capitalist liberal turn red with guilt just to think about. It's something that no one in their right mind needs, but almost everyone in their soul wants to have. It's something that makes a great gift, and often makes an even better gag-gift.
So without further ado, we now present The Self-Gratification of the Day Award. Click on the links to the awards on the left. And be sure to check back every weekday so you don't miss a single one!
You can also suggest a candidate for the Self-Gratification of the Day Award!
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© Copyright 1999-2005. All site content copyrighted by the author.
Any other content, including all section and column names, is copyrighted by Jason Roth.
To beg for, uh, request reprint permission, e-mail reprints@savethehumans.com.
All other feedback to: feedback@savethehumans.com
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