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The June 13, 2001 Mentality

For what it’s worth, I posted this in June, 2001 (in the middle of a rant about China secretly selling arms to Cuba). I note that the part about the United States not possessing cojones unfortunately still holds true.

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April 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm  4 Comments
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The $100,000 Question

Will you be with me, if I should decide to get back into it? Let me know. It may make a difference. I can talk all day long. Whether I’m heard is another question.

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April 12, 2010 at 10:03 pm  14 Comments
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Obama’s Nuclear Strategy: A Bad Defense is the Best Defense

I believe we are now witnessing Barack Obama’s Pet Goat moment. In that spirit, let begin by telling a story.

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April 6, 2010 at 8:56 am  2 Comments
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Hoping Against Hope: A Lame-Duck Barack Obama Presidency

Is it time yet to call Obama’s presidency a complete disaster? And by “disaster”, I don’t mean in the sense of accomplishing stuff, which for Obama’s agenda would be a disaster, but rather in the sense of “complete display of incompetence and utter failure on his own terms”? I say, doggonit, there’s reason to hope.

From where I stand, not only is Obama not getting stuff done, he’s bungling everything he touches and looking like a complete fucking buffoon at the same time. He’s like a clown juggling live jellyfish. And nothing could make me happier.

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January 29, 2010 at 8:17 am  3 Comments
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New Year, Same Shitty president

Let’s see. The lone bomber tried to take down Northwest Airlines Flight 253 at approximately 11:10 AM EST. That would make it 6:10 AM HST (Hawaiian Standard Time). Given that Obama’s daughters are aged 11 and 8, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume they were already yapping about opening up their presents. (If Obama were your father, you’d be yapping, too.) Whatever Barbie car Sasha got this year, I can tell you it sure as fuck wasn’t an American car. A remote-controlled Bentley is what I’m thinking, and not some $78.99 model, either.

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December 31, 2009 at 1:33 pm  6 Comments
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A Christmas Gift of Life

When I think of Christmases of lore, I think of sugarplums dancing, reindeer laughing, wise men passing, and a barn full of farm animals made sweeter by the very first Christmas gift of all, not frankincense or myrrh, but the blessed diaper of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Indeed, thank those wise men for their gifts. I can’t see cinnamon and nutmeg, or even a can of pine tree-scented bathroom deodorant, doing the trick on the world’s first Christmas morning. This Kid’s Dad is omnipotent. Do you really think you’re capable of producing a worse smelling load?

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December 25, 2009 at 8:05 am  1 Comment
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15 Fun Things to Say to a Liberal During Sex

Yes, it’s sex in the age of Obama. Herewith, pillow talk for the politically minded: some for men, some for women, and gosh darn-it, some for the whole fam damily. Utter at your own risk. And hold on tight.

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December 3, 2009 at 11:30 pm  No Comments
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Ayn Rand, Barack Obama, and Sarah Palin (with or without “the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” metaphor)

Let’s see, half the world is collapsing around me, and the thing that incites me to write is some inconsequential worm who bashes Ayn Rand.

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November 18, 2009 at 2:48 am  9 Comments
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Requesting a Presidential Clarification on Health Care

Hey, Obama. Just thinking about my morning commute.

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September 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm  1 Comment
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Video of Health Care Discussion

July 22, 2009 at 12:09 am  No Comments
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Them Wacky Sonia Sotomayor Hearings

Here’s a measure of just how screwed up our culture and political systems are. The Republican’s secret weapon in the Sonia Sotomayor hearings is a firefighter named Frank Ricci. Frank Ricci, according to recent accusations, is a firefighter who will enter your burning house, see a sign that says “Kids’ room this way”, and then have to elblow his buddy to find out what the hell the words mean. Read more →

July 13, 2009 at 6:08 pm  No Comments
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North Korea Sentences 2 US Journalists to 12 Years in Jail

It’s 3:00 AM, Madam Secretary and Mr. President. What are you going to do about it?

June 8, 2009 at 4:47 am  No Comments
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A Proposal for a Better Earth Day

We can’t let Earth Day become just another human fad. Like the Spanish Inquisition or the Holocaust.

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April 22, 2009 at 7:17 am  14 Comments
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Handjobs for Hugo

Outrage. That’s the only word to describe what I’m feeling right now. As of yet, President Obama has only announced plans to temporarily reverse his historic ban on human reproductive cloning for the purpose of implanting fetuses in each of his daughters, hatching two sets of Adolf Hitler octuplets, and allowing all sixteen Hitler youths to sodomize him publicly one at a time and in groups smack dab in the middle of Wrigley Field. Everybody knows Barack Obama is a White Sox fan. And what are the female Hitlers going to do? (For God’s sake, Mr. President, don’t ban aluminum bats just yet. For the sake of the children.)

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April 21, 2009 at 6:43 am  1 Comment
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Dim the Lights and Crank Up The Jukebox: It’s Earth Hour!

Unfortunately, it’s not an hour of silence. But from 8:30 until 9:30 on March 28, you can hope that environmentalists will keep their fucking mouths shut and consider the possibility of refraining from ever again using any energy for any purpose.

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March 28, 2009 at 7:20 pm  1 Comment
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Saving the Newspapers, Mussolini-Style

As the economy shows signs of improvement (this week; who knows about next), one senator has already taken my suggestion to “save the newspapers”. Actually, Senator Cardin, I meant that as an ominous threat, I wasn’t actually trying to give you ideas.

When the federal government offers to help, be very afraid.

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March 25, 2009 at 6:30 pm  No Comments
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On Mice and Government Cheese

Another company took the bait. Not that anyone had a problem with that. The problem was that top management was able to get some of the cheese out of the trap.

“I, Barack Husein Obama, am outraged by this behavior!” he says, his beautifully chiseled face turned upward in the direction of AIG executives, as if Michelangelo himself had discovered a way to turn a block of marble into a frozen, three-dimensional snapshot of monotony. You’ll have to excuse him if he looks like he’s not breathing. He’s “choked up with anger”.

Don’t you know, silly AIG mouse, that when the federal government serves you stolen cheese on a silver mousetrap, you’re supposed to eat it head-first?

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March 17, 2009 at 6:37 am  1 Comment
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