Sexting Your Ass into Prison on Child Porn Charges
This is just classic. Teenage girls who take naked photos of themselves now face child porn charges. In this Greensburg, PA case, charges against three 14- and 15-year-old girls include “manufacturing” and “disseminating” child porn, and two 16- and 17-year-old boys (lucky enough to receive the photos) have been charged with possession. By now, I’m sure the boys have learned their lesson: delete after wanking.
February 23, 2009 at 10:57 pm 6 Comments
Octuplets: Eight Times The Fun (of that of your typical Welfare mother)
I already compared Nadya Suleman to Obama. (And I’m thankful that all the female chimpanzee mothers of eight didn’t take to the streets to protest me.) But Suleman represents much more than the POTUS, so I need to make one more comparison. (By the way, that’s “President of the United States”, not “Postpartum Octo-Torn Uterine Slut”.)
February 20, 2009 at 7:29 am No Comments
Statement on the Alleged Beheading by Muzzammil Hassan, CEO and Founder of U.S. Muslim TV Network Bridges TV
Since the right-wing media have insisted on bringing this tragic but culturally irrelevant story to light, we at Save the Humans have reluctantly decided to respond officially for the public record. This will be our one and only mention of this story, after which time we will return to our regularly scheduled Muslim news, arts, and entertainment. (Please note that the Buzkashi meet-up is still scheduled for Saturday evening. Please let us know if you are able to provide the headless goat carcass.)
February 17, 2009 at 3:05 pm 22 Comments
Obama’s Full-Blown Crisis
“…the question I think the American people are asking is, do you just want government to do nothing, or do you want it to do something? If you want it to do something, then we can have a conversation. But doing nothing, that’s not an option from my perspective.”
– President Obama, Feb. 9, 2009
Mr. President, it all depends on what the meaning of “something” is. Since when did “something” only refer to American dollars and only come in denominations of one trillion?
February 11, 2009 at 8:34 am 5 Comments
Do You Support Your President?
“Do you support your president?” That’s a question that’s been surfacing lately, and though I have a sneaking suspicion it’s being asked rhetorically, let me take a moment to answer it thoughtfully. Do I support your president?
February 10, 2009 at 12:02 am No Comments
Octuplets Are a Great Emotional Stimulus
At least Nadya Suleman produced babies, and not a jar of piss or a brown smudge. But that’s just a technicality. It just means the checks she receives won’t come from the National Endowment of the Arts. The Nadya Suleman personal stimulus package will be postmarked with some other Washington, D.C. address.
February 9, 2009 at 8:44 am No Comments
Man Kills Dog, Soils Corpse Over 2% Salary Increase, Weak Economy Blamed
The declining U.S. economy claimed one more victim today, this time a Boston terrier by the name of Mr. Harvey.
February 4, 2009 at 7:55 am 2 Comments
