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Creative Recipes for the Socially-Conscious Cannibal
by Jason Roth
Professor of Political Philosophy Flambé
- Tie down one live professor of political philosophy to a large cedar log.
- Place log over a light mixture of shredded John Rawls textbooks and photographs of starving Russians circa 1965.
- Set ablaze, and dance wildly around the screaming body while singing, laughing, and wafting air from all directions to ensure an egalitarian crispness. (No individual limb should taste better than the body as a whole.)
- Top with a hollandaise sauce made with one stick of butter and two cups abdominal wound puss from one Hollander freshly dead from waiting in line for free medical care.
- Enjoy!
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