Don't get caught selling some social worker's propagandistic tabloid which masquerades as a forum for "real gibberish scrawled by real bums." And above all, don't accept a measly 15% commission on your newspaper sales. With the Curbtop Kit, you'll be your own boss.
Not only do you not need the ability to spell, you don't even need to be literate.
The Curbtop Kit comes with ready-made headlines and clip-art, specifically designed to represent authentic homeless life. Choose images from a gallery of graffiti, drug paraphernalia, shopping carts, and urine stains.
Intersperse with headlines to such articles as:
"The Home Carpenter: Installation and Firesafety for Your First Cardboard Chimney"
"Caring for Your Billy-Club Head Injury"
"Cooking with Pigeons: Do You Baste with Ketchup Before or After the Removal of Feather Lice?"
Using an easy-to-operate graphical user interface (GUI), the Curbtop Kit allows the bum to select a news story from a wide variety of common urban events.
For example, select the hypodermic needle icon for a story about drug use, then select the downward-pointing arrow for a story about decreasing cocaine profits. An intuitively designed map allows you to specify in which alleyway or crackhouse your news story takes place.
An additional hardware upgrade is available to enable you to print in full color, for detailed depictions of stab wounds and gum disease.
