STH Newsletter

Occasional updates, plus bonus idiotic ramblings. (We've never sent more than one e-mail per month.)

High-Tech Gifts
for the Homeless

by Jason Roth

Are you homeless? Have you amassed so much spare change that it's time to splurge on a special gift just for you?

Or are you homefull and have a bleeding heart that compels you to give bums more than just cigarettes?

Or are you shopping for that hard-to-please wino? Sick of giving the same bottle of Thunderbird year after year?

Then you need our catalog of High-Tech Gifts for the Homeless. Our exclusive catalog is the only one to bridge the gap between motivated, wealthy, Silicon Valley entrepreneurs and lazy, half-conscious, foul-smelling drug-addicts.

Browse the items below, and send a check for $249.99 per item, plus shipping and handling, to:

Information Appliance Division
c/o Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

• The Intellishield W2 Robotic Begging Assistant

• The Coma-matic Life Reliever

• Can 'O Pillow

• The Druginizer

• Plea-Magic Software and DigiSign Portable Computerized Cardboard

• The Complete Curbtop "Homeless News" Publishing Kit