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Sick & Twisted Movie Sequels and Taglines

by Jason Roth

• Schindler's List 2: The Undead

  They're back. And this time, they have their own list.
   
  

• American Psycho Meets Wonder Woman

  Those darn red tights can really get a girl in trouble.
   
  

• The Philadelphia Story 2: Jimmy Stewart Gets AIDS

  A classic screwball comedy about two men, a girl, and a hilarious one-night-stand with a chimpanzee.
   
  

• When Harry and Sally's Son Josh Met Hrny_Oldman127@aol.com

  Who says a little boy and a convicted child molester can't just be friends?
   
  

• Ernest Goes to the Cemetery

  And you thought he stunk at camp.
   
  

• Peggy Sue Got Raped

  A new romantic comedy from the director of You've Got Snuff and Headless in Seattle
   
  

• Jaws Eats PETA

  In the middle of a shark's stomach, no one can hear you scream about animal rights.
   
  

• 2069: The Year Drew Barrymore Sucks ET's Huge Glowing Cock

  These days, Reese's Pieces aren't the only thing she swallows.
   
  

• The Muppets Take Magnolia

  When it rains, it pours, leaving Kermit with a cracked skull and four broken flippers.
   
  

• The Invisible-to-the-Media Man

  The black conservative Republican story.
   
  

• The Last Temptation of Teenage Jesus by the Devil in Miss Jones

  The greatest XXX story about a guy that gets nailed ever told.
   
  

• The Straight Elephant Man Story

  Damn, that ugly bastard sure drives slow.
   
  

• The Grand Wizard of Oz

  The Wiz, with lynchings.
   
  

• The Fat Lazy Hunchback Sues Notre Dame for Wrongful Termination

  This cripple doesn't ring a bell for nobody.
   
  

• Seven and a Half Weeks

  Meet a woman who gives great head in a box.
   
  

• Saving Private Gump

  The mission is a retard.
   
  

• There's Something About Carrie

  She's one loaded bitch.
   
  

• Priceline.com Presents The Happy Hooker Goes to Vulcan

  Now you can name your own price for Captain Kirk's genitals.
   
  

• Three Stooges Meet Rodney King

  The world's most famous bumbling trio "go slapstick" on the world's most famous illiterate arrest-resisting drug-addicted criminal.
   
  

• April the 15th: The Final Audit

  They wanted taxes. He gave them axes.
   
  

• India Ghandi and the All-You-Can-Eat Wings and Ribs Buffet of Doom

  Being a vegetarian means never having to say you're sari.
   
  

• A Woman Under the Influence of John Cassavetes' Incompetent Direction

  Sure, Columbo yells a lot, but can you blame him?
   
  

• Death of a Socialist Playwright

  Rambo Loman kicks some commie ass in this touching adaptation of a play about the American dream.
   
  

• Fried Green Eggs and Ham

  I will not eat out Kathy Bates with a mask. I will not eat out Kathy Bates in a cask. I will not touch her with a bowl. I will not fuck her with a pole.

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