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Page 1

Top 10 Must-See Movies for Liberals

The First Woman Dictator of Cuba

by Jason Roth

Here's a woman who "takes the dick out of dictator". Castraté, queen of the Cubans, reigns supreme in this estrogen-charged adaptation of the bestselling, futuristic, chick-lit classic. Barbara Streisand directs herself (watch for the hot masturbation scene), accompanied by a Latin-tinged, divalicious soundtrack by Britney Spears and Madonna, who inspire the young women of the world to "tap into the strength of your inner whore".

Castraté smokes fat cigars while male slaves fan her royal vagina and polish her five-foot, ivory dildo. In the world of the not-too-distant future, Cuba is a matriarchal society where women prosper and men supply the sperm and fan the vaginas.

Castraté's leadership skills are put to the test when a female citizen is arrested for distributing a pamphlet claiming that the male penis may be just as effective for sexual pleasure as the female fist. Standing before a thunderous crowd crying out for justice, Castraté sentences the traitor to execution by drowning in a hot bubble bath sprinkled with rose petals. Hooray for "pussy power"!

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