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make sense.

What ifa few people decided to switch churches? After all, the bishop never did mention

where Father Feinstein had to findthe new recruits.

               Father Kevin added, "As I'm sureyou've guessed, I decided against using the ideal method of

strengthening the faith of my congregation. The only practical thing to do was to go with the joint-

mass idea."

               "Oh, sure. That's understandable," Father Feinstein improvised. He strained his facial muscles

to look concerned, but still couldn't help looking confused. "But why, may I ask, did you decide

against it?"

               "Well, Father," Father Kevin answered, "I realize that you can't expect everyone to make the

leap from earth to heaven in one jump-- or vice versa. Ideally, you should help bridge the gap for

them. You know, by offering material rewards as a meansfor encouraging spiritual renewal. But the

last thing I wanted to do was to turn the church service into some kind of religious auction house.

With all the people suddenly turning 'religious', we'd have to be darn sure that God had enough room

up there for all of them, right Father?"Father Kevin laughed.

               "It would amount to mere bribery, wouldn't it?," Father Feinstein said, returning the expected

acquiescence and forcing a laugh. "Then again... you could look at it as more of an investment..."

               Father Feinstein silently pondered the new revelation..."why even beat around the bush..."It

was hard to tell if the pulled muscles near the corners of his mouth were the rudiments of a smile, or if

he was just trying to unscrew his own head. "...the way to attract someone to spirituality..."He

thought to himself, "...is outright materialism."

Father Kevin was offering two ideas for the price of one. Actually, Father Feinstein wasn't so

sure the ideas were for sale, but either way, he wasn't going to pay a dime. "I have to say," he said, "I

do agree with your objection to that scam--scheme--uh...strategy.I firmly believe that church should

remain the house of God, not the shopping mall of God."

               "You don't know how right you are," Father Kevin smiled gently. "The only question is--

where to have the mass. That is, if you areinterested?"