4

               Upon hearing the priest's unusual choice of language, Father Kevin's double take gave him the

appearance of a mute turkey. He had tried to glance twice at Father Feinstein, who remained directly

in front of him.

               "Bishops? Not really, but I can imagine,"Father Kevin responded, taking a breath and

looking around Father Feinstein's office. The first thing he noticed, nailed above Father Feinstein's

desk, was a large religious calendar. The majority of the holidays had been highlighted, some with

notes scribbled below them. A fax machine sat on a stand next to Father Feinstein's desk, now in the

process of printing a menu from the local "Burrito Libido" restaurant. Spanning the length of the wall

next to it was a metal filing cabinet, on top of which was a stack of church bulletins and an empty

software box which contained nothing. The floor of the office was covered with little paper circles

and, presumably, some type of brownish-red carpet underneath. Then there was the desk. It seemed

to have no drawers, because all of Father Feinstein's paper, pens, and Pretzel Pencils were scattered

between his lamp and photo cube. Father Kevin looked at the nearest photograph and saw several

gray-haired women with their arms around a sanguine Father Feinstein. They were posing in front of a

broken, moss-covered statue of the kneeling Virgin Mary. The words "Parish Retreat" and last

Spring's date were written in the bottom corner of the picture. Father Kevin remembered who he was

dealing with.

"I'll get straight to the point, Father,"Father Kevin began. "I have a very simple goal which

I'd like you to help me with. I want to save religion."

               Father Kevin spoke in the tone of a company president negotiating a contract. Oddly, it was

this utter seriousness which made Father Feinstein curious.

               "There's a fact we have to recognize if we want to preserve our way of living. That fact is that

people are unable to reconcile their earthly desires with our spiritual rules. They lack the conviction to

practice consistently what we preach. For example, last Sunday a little girl asked me if it was wrong

of her to spend her allowance on a Barbie doll when people are living on the streets. On one hand, she

really wanted it. On the other, she knew that someone else could have easily used the money. This is

just one example, but everyone asks the question in some form. Too many people still waver between