Next time you take a trip on a toll road, and you're half asleep because all you have to stare at is the back of some fifteen year old station wagon with artificial wood paneling and three bumper stickers reading "Jesus Saves", "Darwin be Damned", and "God Loves Everyone (except little girls who get raped and have abortions)", think about this: you could be looking at an occasional billboard now and then advertising more important things than God, like cigarettes and television sets, while knowing that the advertising revenue generated for the road's owner would be going to the maintenance of the goddamned road you're driving on.
Wait a second. Then traveling on highways would be no more expensive than listening to the radio. That would be a problem, wouldn't it? No more toll booths means no more toll booth clerks! They would actually have to get up off their lazy asses (oh, sorry, they do stand up in those booths, don't they?) and look for real jobs. Like shoveling manure or inspecting jock straps for irregularly sewn scrotum pouches.
Then again, there's always work for the lazy down at the DMV, isn't there?
In the meantime, until human beings own roads - instead of "the public" - and roads are treated like any other piece of property from restaurants to umbrellas to radio airwaves, do yourself a favor. Say "goodbye" to toll booth clerks. Say "have a nice day" if you must. Even a "you're welcome" is somewhat forgivable. But in the name of your own dignity, just don't say "thank you".
