The relationship is going fine. Food, fun, intellectual stimulation, the occasional toothless blowjob. You know, basically everything a healthy male wants in a relationship. Then the chick opens her mouth and out comes something disgusting. There it is: the "C" word. The word "commitment".
She had to go and blow it. Then she had to go and blow it.
It's such a cliche by now that the word may not be used explicitly. But somehow, possibly through subtle, nonverbal hints or cute whining which would induce thoughts of violence if it weren't for the cleavage facing your direction, the proposal for monogamy has just been communicated.
Three hours later, the woman is having cappuccino with her non-threatening gay friend and complaining about the particular way her boyfriend got up and ran out of the restaurant screaming. Was her boyfriend, the woman so desperately wants to know, trying to tell her something?
Ultimately, an agreement to "commit" is about limiting the sex. Well, ideally it's about limiting the sex with other people, but increasing the sex with each other. The point is, commitment is not about giving up your varsity jacket or getting a name tattooed on your ass. It's about the sex, and/or the active pursuit of it.
I can think of two reasons why a guy might be "afraid" to commit when a woman asks him to:
- A permanent ban on his promiscuity
- The transformation of his role from boyfriend to security blanket
