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Screw the "Death of Innocence". Resent the Birth of Politeness.

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by Jason Roth

Hallmark-store poets and dimestore philosophers everywhere decry the "death of innocence". This, purportedly, is that fateful time in your life, sometime in your early adulthood, when you realize that - oops - you sold your soul! Moreover (the bromide goes), you realize that one needs to sell one's soul over and over in order to be an adult. Life requires "compromise", and compromise consists of being a gutless asshole who rationalizes his cowardice by claiming his weakest moments are actually his most virtuous.

Of course, when these rationalizing assholes first sold their soul, they can't have possibly understood their "virtue" so quickly. They must have taken a few years to bask in the glory of their own spinelessness. Let me rephrase that. They took a few years to build up all the lies their mind requires to view their most contemptible act as the opposite of what it is.

Here's a few lines to get you started:

• Life is complicated

• Nothing is black and white

• It's better to be a realist than an idealist

• You can't always get what you want

Those will make a good foundation. But if you've given up a dream in order to get married and suppress that bedtime anxiety (only one of the many, amazing ways you, too, can sell your soul! ), you'll need a hell of a lot more than a foundation. You'll need rationalization built upon rationalization, until your whole consciousness is a bunch of Scotch tape covering a leaky goddamn dam wall. (Or maybe it's a bunch of little blindfolds covering your mind's eye.) But once you've sold out, don't stop there. Do it again, baby. It gets easier the second or one hundred and second time around.

The great thing about the human soul is that it's recyclable. You can sell it then sell it again. If those who claimed that "life requires compromise" weren't also anti-capitalist technophobes, they could really make a killing on eBay.

So, the dimestore philosophers are right about one thing. "Death of innocence" does actually refer to something in reality. But the "death of innocence" assholes are so wrapped up in their own web of self-delusions that their name for the psychological process is itself corrupted by the very psychological process. Ask a liar to honestly explain his lies and see what you get.

To honest people, the real problem in the world isn't the "death of innocence". It's the birth of politeness. It's the time when people stop saying what they mean and start being nice. It's the time when people start kissing people on the cheek to say hello. It's the time when people start saying "That's an interesting point", when what they really mean is "That's the biggest load of fucking bullshit I've ever heard in my life, how fucking stupid do you have to be to spout that kind of stupid, idiotic nonsense, you goddamn moronic asshole?" It's the time when you start keeping silent or engaging in small talk in order to steer a conversation away from potentially controversial topics. It's the time when you first put effort into a smile.

Politeness be damned! Forget about what you're "supposed" to say. You know what you're "supposed" to say? You're "supposed" to say what the most neurotic members of the masses want you to say. Something amusing and non-threatening, "non-threatening" being defined as something that doesn't chip away at the house of cards holding up that thing they call their self esteem. You're "supposed" to say "Thank you". You're "supposed" to say "I agree with you". You're "supposed" to not possess your own mind.

Take a look at some kids if you want to see the fundamentals of human social interaction. Kids say what they think. And you know what? Sometimes it makes other kids cry. But the sell-out parents among us are trying to eliminate the candor and self-respect we're all born with. What we should be teaching kids is not how to stifle what they say so that they don't hurt someone else's feelings, but that sticks and stones may break their bones, but names will never hurt them for Christ's sake!

I don't object to tact. I don't even object to not calling your coworker a fucking moron. What I do object to is repressing your thoughts for the sake of getting warm and fuzzy looks from people you barely know.

Try something new. Try assuming that other people might have half the spine that you do and actually might be able to hear the words that come out of your mouth. Just for the hell of it, try speaking your mind and seeing what happens. I have a good feeling that the world won't come to an end.

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