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Bad Days? Fuck That.
by Jason Roth
I don't believe in "bad days". Well, I believe in them after they happen, but I'm not one of those people who start their day thinking, "This is a bad day." I.e., one or two little annoying things happen to me, like I can't get my goddamn hair the way I want it, or I step in a puddle or whatever, and then pathetically resign myself to the rest of my day consisting of nothing but shit.
What the hell is this, poor man's astrology? Using irrelevant indicators to predict future, and entirely unrelated, circumstances? First of all, these people should stay the hell away from day trading. Let's put it this way: if you step in a puddle and soak your foot all the way up to your ankle, don't assume that your boss is necessarily going to call you a fucking imbecile for your work on yesterday's sales report. He or she may call you a fucking imbecile, but if so, it has nothing to do with the fact that you stepped in a puddle. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you hand-wrote the entire report in red ink. What are you, a fucking imbecile?
The kind of people who resign themselves to bad days must be the same people who ask you "Is it Friday yet?" in the elevator every Tuesday morning. Imagine one of these people amidst real turmoil. For example, imagine them being kidnapped and tortured by a psychotic serial killer. After the first finger is cut off, do you think they'll say "I'm having a bad day"? Or do you think they've already said that in the back of the killer's van on the way to the abandoned warehouse? Yeah, the "I'm having a bad day" was probably uttered when the killer first grabbed the bitter cynic and threw him or her into the vehicle. Then, on the way to the warehouse, I expect the cynic would have upgraded the "bad day" comment to "Man, I'm having a really bad day." Then, after being rather rudely pushed through the door and thrown onto the musty warehouse floor, I'd assume we'd go to orange alert - something like "Today is almost as bad as last Thursday when I couldn't tease my fucking hair the right way."
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