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Will Someone With a Backbone Please Stand Up?

by Jason Roth
 

"Don't judge me."

"What's right for you might not be right for me."

"Don't be so judgmental."

"Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me."

"Judge not, that ye be not judged."

 

We're in the midst of a severe shortage. It's not fuel, food, land, or CEOs whose wealth we can expropriate like a bunch of fucking Nazis.

What we're lacking are backbones. Specifically, moral backbones.

It's been said that television and movies are a mirror of our culture. I agree. Just don't look for me in the mirror. I'm standing behind the sensitive guy in the retro polyester shirt.

So, recall the last time you saw a television series with a bunch of whining, pretentious teenagers or adults throwing around condemnations of people who judge them. Just turn on any episode of Friends, Party of Five, ER, Real World, or any other show with a bunch of brother's keepers who think they can manage everyone else's lives but their own:

Character 1: "I'm worried about you. I don't think it's the best idea for you to continue to mix ecstasy, heroine, and crack while having unprotected sex with those unconscious sluts in the Limelight bathroom as some fat guy named Moth shoves live rats from an AIDS research lab up your ass through a rusty metal pipe."

Character 2: "How dare you judge me, you evil Puritanical moralistic bastard!"

Admit it, how many times have you heard these exact words on TV? (Though the guy named Moth sometimes goes by the name of Brandon or Steve.)

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