Bored with society? Sick of mind-numbing small talk consisting of Bob and Sarah's trip to Paris, whether it's going to rain or not this weekend, and do the fucking Yankees really have a decent back-up pitcher?
Then try alcohol. The stupider you are, the less stupid everyone else seems. Or, just as good, the less you actually give a shit.
Alcohol is the miracle drug. The same person that makes you want to slit your wrists in boredom when you're sober becomes the hit of the party. In fact, all you need to have a party is alcohol. No alcohol? No party. A party without alcohol is a bunch of boring people standing around while you nod your head and think to yourself, "I'd rather be sitting at home by myself thinking about how boring these people are." Your own thoughts about boring people are actually more interesting than the boring people themselves. Trust me, I'm conducting the experiment right now and I can see the results.
Why is this, you ask? Because amongst boring people, you have two choices. First, you can participate in the conversation at the level determined by the mindless flow of the conversation (a flow which can probably be graphically represented as a flat line by a researcher in the field of chaos theory; believe me, you don't need fractals for this shit), and second, you can drink yourself silly until your level of consciousness becomes closer to that of those around you.
There is no third option. Someone who's optimistic, naive, or more likely, was raised by apes from birth, might assume that steering the conversation to a higher level might be possible. Feel free to attempt this if you think it can be done, but you'll have more success trying to ride one of those midget clown bicycles with a blindfold and your hands duct-taped behind your back. Inertia might carry you a few inches, but eventually reality will kick you in the ass with its huge steel-toed boot.
There is only one subject I've found so far which comes closest to solving the "How do I spend more than five seconds with these fucking people?" problem. And that is...
