"If you quit drugs, you join the fight against terror in America."
- President George W. Bush
Shit. As I sit here smoking my unfiltered clove cigarette, I wonder if those Anti-Drug assholes are actually right. These Djarums are imported from Indonesia, the country which has the largest Muslim population in the world. 198 million to be exact.
Did some al Qaeda member wrap these? I don't know. Do I like smoking them? Yes. Am I going to stop smoking them? No. I'll tell you what, Mr. President. I'll feel guilty about smoking these (legal) drugs once you declare a war on Militant Islam. Or how about just declaring any war?
As long as it looks like we're going down, I say "Smoke 'em if you got 'em."
Think I'm in a particularly cynical mood? Think again. I'm actually feeling quite positive today. That's why I just took down both American flags that were hanging in my apartment. Including the one hanging proudly on my window. If I'm still feeling this good tomorrow at work, I'll remove the huge flag covering my office wall. When people ask me why, I'll tell them: for the same reason I'm no longer talking about Lewis v. Tyson. Because the fight's over. Sure, it was fun routing for the good guy. When it's fighting season again, Mr. President, let me know. I'll be happy to don the appropriate jersey.
And no, I'm not just a fair-weather fan of America. But I'm also not the Bush Administration's patriotic bitch. To yelp and roll over whenever some Republican says "Let's roll", then keep on yelping until my NYC office building comes crashing down on top of me. Iced coffee and all.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm living in Purgatory. A half-assed, neither-here-nor-there, wishy-washy state of existence in which politicians talk about "doing something", apologize for doing things they're not doing, and flapping around uncontrollably like the fluke I caught on July 4th. You know, Independence Day? The day we all wondered whether anything would be left for us to celebrate when we got back from the picnic?
I'll defend this country. I'll fight. I never punched anyone in my life without holding back while I did it. But I'll fire a gun and I will kill people. I'll do it if and when our leaders face reality.
