Now, I consider my wize self purdy enlightened an whatnot, an I don't be advokatin repression of nobody, an I was of that attitude long before the Gov'ment made a regalation on don't be beatin' nobody cause they's a minority or a homasexshul. Ya'll'll remember my first kolumn sayin' I'd eskort a homasexshul to the Prom, an I wood. What a person does with consentin' adults ain't none of my gaddamn bidness an I don't want it to be, an I ain't about to deny fair treetment to anybody. I, Hezekiah Tee Smith-Jones, III, don't be a respekter of persons. I treet all folks alike, with equal respect an equal contempt when I'm contemptin' somebody.
But enough is enough. If any group of people wants to be treeted like the mainstreem folk, then gaddamnit they gots to be ready for all equal treetment ... includin' a cussin' now an again. Well, as it happens, the Homasexshul Community is in bad need of a cussin'.
An that's when Hezekiah Tee Smith-Jones, III, answers the call ...
Too Wit, Dear Reeder:
What the hell's the world comin to when the Rump Rangers be wantin' to boycott the Boy Scouts of America?Is ya'll out your fuckin' minds? You may as well bend Norman Rockwell over an commit Buggery on the High Seas as to be protestin' the Boy Scouts! I ain't never seen such crazy logic since Stalone made Rambo movies even though he skeedaddled to Denmark an taught kindergarten to stay out of the Vietnam War. Somebody in your organization has spent too much time oral fixatin' an not enough time thinkin'.
