The DOG Award
For delusions of grandeur in creativity.
The savethehumans DOG Award goes to that person, organization, or artistic work that goes beyond the usual bounds of arrogance and pretentiousness found in the modern artistic community, and manages to create, produce, yield, or exist as a piece of utter cultural garbage.
In this context, "artistic work" refers both to the obvious, such as visual arts, music, and film, but also any commercial endeavor with artistic qualities, such as advertisements, commercials, television dramas, news broadcasts, and pop songs (or did I mention "commercials" already?)
Ok, so we're being a little loose about what's considered "artistic". But then again, we're not the ones who took a shit into a goddamn can and sold it at an art auction to a bunch of idiots with nothing better to do than spend their husband's money on human feces, piles of candy, and vacuum cleaners "signed by the actual artist". (See one of two 60 Minutes reports for more on this lunacy.)
If so-called art museums can present canvases covered with nothing but purple or human figures that look like they were painted by mentally retarded three-year-olds (e.g. Picasso), then god dammit, we can use the phrase "artistic work" to describe Indian Jones.
However, Indiana wouldn't be so lucky as to win a DOG Award. Why? Because, frankly, Stephen Spielberg didn't aim low enough to be such a pompous prick as, say, well, he did with Schindler's List. But enough editorial commentary. (For this page, anyway.)
Winning a DOG Award requires all the right ingredients: senselessness, a big budget, and one very important quality: technical incompetence.
What can win a DOG Award? You'll find out soon enough.
