“The Issue of Race”
Journalists talk about “the issue of race” in the current political campaign. “The issue of race” is somehow present because, presumably, one of the half-black Democratic candidates looks all-black. (I guess there’s no such thing as a “dark-skinned caucasian”, at least in the sense of being half-black.) However, the issue of race is such a non-issue that journalists rarely find it necessary to say precisely what is “the issue”. And, hence, the issue.
The “issue” of race is that Americans are both afraid to discuss a person’s race and at the same time compelled to discuss it. Somehow, race matters, but it only matters in some vague way that affects other people’s judgment. And everyone seems to know that race is a “sensitive” issue. They prove it through their fear of telling you what’s so sensitive about it.
It’s a ridiculous farce when people broadcast their private, embarassing neuroses in a public forum. A good number of classic Hollywood comedies have used this premise, and I think “the race issue” would yield another classic.
It’s as if Obama is Superman, and his blackness is like the ability to outrace a speeding train. Hillary, a mere mortal, has no such super powers. Alas, all Hillary can do is say:
“You know, the problem with this Obama is that he’s no Flash Gordon. If you want a Flash Gordon for president, then elect Flash Gordon. Oh, wait a second. I’m sorry. Flash Gordon is dead. I guess you pathetic bastards will have to vote for me. I can’t outrace a train, but at least I know how to handle my fucking kryptonite.”