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Obama’s Nuclear Fetish: Making the World Safe From Ukrainian Terrorists

It’s occurred to me why Barack Obama loves terrorists. Not that he calls any of them by their first names with any frequency, but he does seem to appreciate the fact that “terrorists” are already floating around in the ether of the public mind. It’s such a vaguely defined concept that not only does it require no specific action, but it allows any action to be bullshitably linked (or if you have an antagonism to the split infinitive: to be linked bullshitably), in such a way that your mindless flailings can actually be described as constructive. “Mindless flailings”, however, doesn’t give Obama the discredit he deserves.

His posturing at the nuclear summit this week was worse than mindless; it was an elaborate and intentional act of misdirection. He wants us, and the world, to think that he’s protecting us against a boogieman. Not like a short-cutting parent who uses a threatening image to keep her kids from getting out of the yard and running into a busy street. But like the parent who wants her kids to stay in the yard because she wants them kept in the yard. And, maybe, because she gets a kick out of seeing her kids shit in their pants over the thought of a boogieman.

No thanks to the previous administration, America is in a war against “terrorists”, not nations. Actually, Bush was really at war with “terror”, not “terrorists”, which in a way is even more leftist than an anti-gun protester. It’s like Bush’s concept of the enemy was two steps removed from the perpetrator; he wasn’t fighting the gunman, nor even the gun, but against gunfire. Gunfire is out there, and we need to do something about it: like walk around with shields or build walls around the country.

I was actually considering making a joke about how next up, now that Obama’s made the world safe from Ukraine, he’d start kicking ass in Mexico and Canada. But I just realized that I had simply missed the coverage of this. It’s exactly what the fucking connasse has already “achieved”:

“Several countries, including Ukraine, Mexico and Canada, declared their intention to give up highly enriched uranium as a step toward making it harder for terrorist groups or criminal gangs to steal or acquire a key ingredient in the making of atomic weapons.” (link)

Incidentally, I just learned the word “connasse” yesterday (from this book about France by Stephen Clarke), and I decided to go with it over “enculĂ©”, another one I just learned, for two reasons. First, I wanted to connote something along the lines of “fucking idiot”, while still having the option of preceding the word with the word “fucking”. “Connasse” succeeds in the endeavor, and also implies that Obama is a “twat”, even better. I will say that I did love Clarke’s description of “enculĂ©”: “a word that suggests you are an idiot because you have allowed yourself at some point in your life to be sodomized. Not everyone would take that as an insult, of course.”

One might wonder if Obama is accidentally doing something good here, with Ahmadinejad of Iran coming out against the move. As this video from Reuters makes clear, though, Iran still does not oppose giving up (the charade to give up) its own nuclear material. After all, until Iran possesses significantly large sticks, it needs to use its emasculatingly puny carrots. What the Mahmoudmeister, the Mahmoudinator, if you will, is really against is the idea of any US president making any kind of show of power. The show of power, in this case, being targeted against the same kinds of countries that the Mahmoudinopolist himself targets, not those which Obama really ought to be using his power against.

In other words, Iran’s opposition to Obama’s new nuclear fetish is in that it’s a game they’re not being allowed to play. But from their perspective, it’s a fun-filled game, and at least Obama’s doing his part to proliferate it.

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