Europeans like to point out Americans’ relative ignorance of world news. And it’s hard to deny this. When you can’t pay RyanAir five Euros to take you to Madrid for a weekend, you tend not to give a flying fuck about the Spanish economy.

But watch CNN International for 15 minutes in your hotel room. Inevitably, you’ll be enlightened by such essential tidbits of knowledge as:

“Great news! It’ll be sunny in the Congo this weekend. Better make sure your portable evisceration kit contains enough sun block - you don’t want that last piece of intestine to freckle. Oh, and another thing. The price of petrol is up, so expect higher fuel surcharges on armored SUV rentals.”

While this guy actually defends the idea of hearing about the weather in Afghanistan and the Congo, he reports the interesting fact that Americans are actually a very small percentage of CNN International’s audience. So, the weather report is not just part of some bullshit charade for the American businessman. It’s information that’s actually being targetted to the international audience. And, while CNN could be presuming wrong about their own audience, I tend to think they’re right. Their audience is, in fact, this full of shit.

Incidentally, as a seasoned American traveller, I take issue with the American spelling of “traveler”. I was always taught to double the consonant before adding the suffix, unless two vowels proceed the consonant. (E.g., “feel” becomes “feeler”.) And now, it seems, I have to emigrate to the UK to find consistent adherence to this rule. Well, at least I’d also find a home where people are not afraid to put their periods outside the parentheses (like this).