Google Earth Hour
On Saturday, March 29, 2008, Earth Hour will take place, from 8:00 to 9:00 pm in your local time zone.
Save the Human invites everyone to flick their house lights on and off repeatedly during that time. If you think that will get boring, then feel free to rig up a gas-powered engine to do the flicking for you. Save the Humans hopes that by participating in this flicking of the proverbial finger, we can raise awareness of what annoying, prissy, bitches these environmentalists are. We thank you for your time.
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Hmm, this is too good of an opportunity to waste. If you look at the bottom of the page explaining Earth Hour, you will see they have an email address. Perhaps it is time to resurrect E-Tarded Email?
Here are some more options for wasting energy:
1. Play videogames. If you have a modern video card it will throttle its power consumption. Running a video game will ensure it runs at max power. Plus you won’t get bored.
2. Most people have more than one TV in their house. Even if you can’t be in the room, turn on that TV!
3. Run the washer and dryer, even if you don’t have laundry.
4. If you have any CFL lights, switch to incandescent. Make sure to pick the maximum voltage that your lamp can handle. (This will increase the potency of Jason’s original suggestion.
5. Set the microwave for one hour, or as long as you can run it, and turn on that sonofabitch!!! Ditto for electric ovens, stovetops, etc.
Since environuts want us to save energy all year round, here are some suggestions to waste energy all year round.
1. Disable all power saving features on your computer, and never turn it off except to reboot. To do so, right click anywhere besides icons on your desktop, and select properties from the pop up menu. This opens the Display Properties window. Select the Screen Saver tab, and click the power button. Select the “Always on” option and ensure the monitor never shuts off. Also click the hibernate tag and make sure hibernate is also disabled.
2. Turn down the thermostat in summer, and turn it up in the winter to ensure constant operation of AC system.
Here are some options if you can’t afford the first two:
3. Recycle. I shit you not, it takes more energy to recycle a bottle or can than it does to make a new one. Ditto for paper and plastics.
4. When in a public bathroom, press the button on the electrical hand dryer if one is present. Then wash your hands and dry them with a paper towel. Use the paper towel to cover your hand while pressing the button once more before leaving. This way you avoid getting germs yourself, but ensure that any asshat who thinks they are saving the world by not using trees will.
5. When visiting electronic stores, go to the stereo section and turn on any displays that aren’t on, this makes them use more energy that you don’t have to pay for. Ditto for any other display that uses energy.
Hope that helps.
(I hope everybody’s been buying up incandescent bulbs and stashing them away against the day. Think of a time when it’s going to be an act of defiance, maybe even “civil disobedience,” to turn on Thomas Edison’s invention. This is deeply symbolic stuff. Think of ANTHEM.)
I turned on every light in the house, and they’re still on. And I have a solar-powered house, so the only way I can consume that much power and still be able to stay up late and watch TV is by gassing up the generator and starting it.
Unfortunately I live in the absolute fucking middle of nowhere, and there’s no traffic because the road is so muddy — so nobody is seeing it. But at least I feel better. A little. So: fuck you, fucking hippies.
There. I was so angry and defiant I put up a blurry picture. That’ll show ‘em.
Were these people just going to sit around in the dark?
Somebody should do some checking of global news sources, to find out whether there was a sudden rash of housefires caused by accidents with matches, candles, and oil lamps.
It’s good to know that Earth Hour was apparently a complete failure, at least in Sydney. But when in doubt, just claim your event is “consciousness-raising”, like Greg Bourne did, the “chief executive of the Australian branch of the international environmental group the World Wide Fund for Nature”.
I want to know whether plants and trees did anything to advance the environmentalist cause. This gives me an idea - I’m going to take a crack at my first cartoon tonight.
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