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Election Day 2010: This Time It’s “All of the Above”

I guess this post will constitute a one-day span of campaigning. But it needs to be said for the record, given that in the last election I voted for “none of the above”. This time, I will proudly vote Republican 100% all the way down the ballot.

I will be proud not because Republican politicians, as a whole, have suddenly become admirable members of society. Rather, it’s because the proponents of smaller government and individual rights tend either to be Republicans or to attach themselves to the “Republican cause” (whether such a thing exists). Most importantly, it’s because there is only one reasonable message for Republicans or anyone else to infer from my vote: that I want a reduction in taxes, a reduction in government spending, a repeal of Obamacare, and if anyone really wants to make me happy, a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. The firing of a random staff member would also do.

If we want a true takeover of the Federal Government, we should do what the management of any acquiring company would do if they wanted to cut costs in a hurry: they’d tell every goddamn department manager to cut his budget by X% and cut his staff by Y%. Government should do the same. But now I’m just getting excited. I’m even voting for Carl Paladino, for fuck’s sake.

Bring on the bloodbath!

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7 comments

1 Anonymous { 11.01.10 at 7:49 pm }

So you want a deeper recession, you’re an Idiot

2 Jason Roth { 11.02.10 at 7:00 am }

Just voted. Entered the school with two men who look like they haven’t seen the light of day since Return of the Jedi was in theaters. I arrived in the gym, and asked a poll worker, “Is this where I vote Republican?” She said no, and helpfully instructed to use a ballot. This voting location had upgraded, by the way, to paper ballots. Machines were replaced by paper and scanners that validated them, allowing you to correct them if they determined, for example that you had voted both yes and no on the referendum questions. I didn’t, since that was actually my goal. Unfortunately, I thought I had also accidentally voted Democrat for Assemblyman. I had filled in the write-in box, before realizing there was a Republican candidate. So, it turns out I think I really voted for two candidates in that case, which isn’t quite as bad.

3 Jason Roth { 11.02.10 at 7:05 am }

Last, but not least, there was nearly an error with my ballot. (An unintended one.) The lady at my precinct’s table noticed that the “supervisor” who was walking around had already used a “stub number” of the ballot. Good thing she noticed that, I guess, because she was shaking her head and repeating to the worker next to her that “there’s a mistake”‘and “this is wrong”. A guy in line said there were problems during the primaries as well. I figure there’s a 50/50 chance that my vote was counted.

4 Jason Roth { 11.02.10 at 7:12 am }

My wife just voted. She had to ask whether she should sign the book. Awesome.
Forget voter fraud. What about poll worker incompetence?

5 Jason Roth { 11.02.10 at 7:25 am }

How could I forget? Neither my wife nor I were asked to show ID.

I also liked the guidance of my poll worker: to write my signature “the same” as what they had in the book. Thanks, I was voting for someone else and almost forgot.

6 Geoff { 11.02.10 at 7:47 am }

This has encouraged me to try and vote today. I wasn’t going to, because despite my best and repeated efforts, the Suffolk County board of elections still hasn’t updated my address or corrected their spelling of my name, and so the address on the identification that I ASSUMED I’d be asked to show today doesn’t match what’s in their records. But if there’s a chance I can just waltz in and vote away without having to show any ID, maybe I will. Do you think I should pick up one of those fake-moustache-and-glasses things, maybe try and vote a couple of times? From the sound of things, I wouldn’t even need it.

7 Jason Roth { 11.02.10 at 7:56 am }

I think there is a good chance you’d get a way with it.

There was so much to describe, I almost forgot something else. As the poll worker who caught (and possibly caused) the mistake was rewriting the slip of paper that went with my ballot, I said it was no problem and offered to vote twice. She didn’t find that funny, though her assistant did. I will give her credit, though, because (a) she might have actually been the reason my voted (may have) counted, and (b) she whispered to her colleague, “I’m not coming back here.” But she had come to that conclusion at 6:30 in the morning!

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