Unfortunately, it’s not an hour of silence. But from 8:30 until 9:30 on March 28, you can hope that environmentalists will keep their fucking mouths shut and consider the possibility of refraining from ever again using any energy for any purpose.

What good does it do Mother Nature to stop stepping on her for a mere hour? In fact, I question the efficiency of this hour of anti-industrial regression. There are 60 minutes that you could be using to knock down a building and plant a rain forest. Better yet, fly an airplane into the building and destroy three blights on the Earth in one shot. Not the least of which, according to environmentalists who choose to be consistent, is you.

My own preference is to acknowledge the reality that my life requires the utilization of the contents of our Earth. Not for irrational wasting or destruction, but for the production of values my life requires. And any act of production requires the modification and transformation of raw ingredients into a refined product suitable for consumption. As opposed to consistent environmentalists, I choose to live, and that is what I will celebrate tonight.

So, have yourself a big Earth Hour Party. Imbibe some beverages made with barley, wheat, grapes, or rice harvested from fields ravaged by man for the purpose of growing what men wanted to be grown there. And if you do turn down the lights, make sure it’s only to set the mood.