I may have just found a reason to vote against somebody.

“The Oakland police last faced big riots in 2003 when the Raiders lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the Super Bowl. Officials are bracing themselves in case residents of Oakland take Obama’s loss badly.“

- Alexander Bolton, Police prepare for unrest

Riots. How funny would that be?

If a black guy loses the presidency now, some of these left coast blacks are going to be about as peeved as when a bunch of cops tame a violent, drugged-up, repeat criminal. Those Korean convenience store owners better take advantage of the next Travelzoo promotion and spend the first week of November in Mexico. Sorry, Koreans. I’m considering sacrificing your windows and Doritos racks for my entertainment pleasure.

Granted, if I thought the riot might take place near me, I wouldn’t be considering this. And maybe I should even be thinking of it in the opposite way. Maybe I should vote for Obama. We know how a basketball victory can be celebrated.

Incidentally, it occurred to me that if every American president had been black, Obama would be considered the first white president. (I feel like I’ve said this before.) No offense to half-breeds, but I really think that if you’re half and half, you lose the right to represent either of your races. (Although half-breeds of the black & white variety are really the only ones who are considered wholly one race or the other. Asian/whites, for example, usually consider themselves mutts, in my experience.)

Maybe if Obama loses, we’ll get some half-breed riots. That could be interesting. Just don’t go shopping for low-top sneakers on November 5th.