A Proposal for a Better Earth Day
We can’t let Earth Day become just another human fad. Like the Spanish Inquisition or the Holocaust.
Sooner or later, every scourge of the earth is efficiently exterminated, partially exterminated, or replaced by a new one. Nobody hates Britney Spears like they used to. And before her, there were others. Even the Spice Girls were eradicated, if not in reality, at least as an object of our desired eradication. We get tired of one thing and move on to another.
In the context of Earth Day, either the earth will be eradicated (by an asteroid or a black hole, for example), or the altruistic prayer rug will be shifted from the direction of the environmentalist Mecca, a land of ravaged swamplands, endangered small pox viruses, and rainbows to a better world. Who can say, if the asteroid should pass us by, what the next trendy human problem will become? I guess there’s always the classics: poverty, world hunger, hating rich people.
The problem, though, is that we human beings tend to choose our scourges based on issues of momentary practicalities, rather than on universal problems. Earth Day will never have lasting appeal. Once modern industry is destroyed, what use will Earth Day have? Sure, for a while it will make sense to remind people of the evil of repurposing the products of the earth for their own selfish purposes. But without anything left to sacrifice, people are going to get tired of hearing it.
I propose a broader view. Current astrophysical research shows that the universe will continue to expand, resulting in freezing temperatures far too cold to sustain life. Granted, this will likely occur long after the earth and human beings have exited existence. But this is precisely the reason why we ought to realign our values and goals now. Earth Day is simply a “social issue”; i.e., a human issue. If we want to be true members of the universal community, we must align our purposes with those of the universe. And the universe isn’t getting warmer, it’s getting colder. I therefore propose the renaming of Earth Day to “Freezing Universe Day”. It just so happens that nothing else needs to change, just the name. The best way to be universally conscious is to let the universe do its thing.
So, that factory over there that’s cranking out the cancer drugs? Shut it down. Fast. Just like you’d do if you were celebrating Earth Day. Whatever you do, though, just don’t bulldoze it. That’ll create extra heat and defeat the whole purpose. Which wouldn’t be very universe-friendly. Instead, just turn off the lights and let human life run its course.
Black. It’s the new green.
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Earth Day Games
I’ve created a few games to celebrate today.
Hybrid Hippycrite
This game is best played when the daytime temperature is above 80° and you live in a larger urban area
Take a drive down an interstate with at least 2 friends who will be the players.
Passenger/players will get points for every hybrid car they see.
Points are scored as follows
1 point – Hybrid vehicle on interstate
10 points – Hybrid vehicle traveling the speed limit
1,000 points – Hybrid vehicle not using air conditioning (windows down)
10,000 points – Hybrid vehicle spotted sitting in drive way and owner spotted riding a bike to work
Blow a fuse
A fun game for homeowners
Turn off all lights, appliances, air conditioning, TVs, stereos, etc.
Everyone sits on a couch and one by one players take turns blowing an electrical fuse as fast as they can.
Assign someone to keep time with a watch.
On the timers mark, the players take turns turning on items until a fuse is blown
There are no rules as to what can be plugged in and where it can be plugged in
Turn all items back off before starting the next players turn
E that needle
Players rent the largest SUV they can find.
Fill the tank.
Write down the milage.
Put the vehicle in a lower gear and drive the vehicle as hard as possible without blowing the engine for at least 50 miles.
Write down the end milage.
Refill the tank.
Divide the milage driven by the number of gallons added in the refill.
The player with the lowest MPG wins.
Coolest Car
Multiple players each bring their cars to a common location
Players turn on their cars
Players turn the air conditioning to it’s highest (coldest) setting.
Let the cars run for 2 hours. (you can play a couple rounds of “Blow a Fuse” while waiting)
At the two hour mark temperature readings are taken in the car
The coldest temperature wins
Kick the Can
Players gather all the aluminum cans they can find
Players stand on the side of the street opposite a storm / sewer drain opening in the curb
The first person to kick 10 cans across the street and into the drain wins.
man i hate environmentalists, save the humans , by destroying the elite
when i find a human worth saving I’ll let you know
“species” you’ll get the message
the remark was a takeoff on your title Save the Humans and
I thought Cheney, Bush, Brown and a few other intellectual
giants of the same ilk. Obama, Prince William and Clinton
obviously DO NoT fall into that catagory being of a much nobler
HUMANE and intellectual species.
if you are sincerely interested in protecting and saving the
humans stop all the bi-partisian congressional quibbling; put
the needs of the people first and go with Obama’s ORIGINAL
health care reform. You will NOT lose your private insurance
and employeers will still be able to insure their employees.
The major difference will be that those unable to recieve proper
medical care under the existing system will then be able to obtain it. Push away the political smokescreen; get a copy of
Obama’s original proposal and read it. This is NOT a political
issue, but a national necessity for the protection of every human
in our country. TRUST OBAMA’S WISDOM and KNOWLEDGE!
This is a leader ,who cares about his people and KNOWS WHAT
to do to HELP THEM.
Incidentally, President Obama has NOT turned his back on the
Guantanamo issues. Yes. he is looking forward to those problems that are currently affecting the American people while
the Attorney General’s ofice is vigorously attending to those
atrocities that occured i n Guantanamo and other areas and
taking swift and appropriate action to see that appropriate
individuals are legally and swiftly meted out the punishment theydeserve. If Obama didn’t care this action would not already
be underway. DO NOT UNDER ESTIMATE OBAMA! HE IS A
JUST, WISE, AND COMPASSIONATE LEADER. Give him time
and the credit he deserves. He has to clean up a dung heap of
political errors, deliberate mismanagment of the American
political arena that has built up over the last 10 to 20 years. It
can’t happen in a day or a year, but it is and will continue to occur. TRUST HIM! TRUST HILLARY CLINTON! And trust those
hehas picked to be his advisors whether they be in the headlines or not.
Open you minds and your eyes,America. Read between the
rhetoric.
open your eyes
Uh, who are you talking to? I don’t even read my own site anymore.
Josh, you should read your old site., or click on Hillary Bartholomew. Its getting more attention than you think. Incidentally, your new site, this one could be very effective if you are truly serious about the humans’ plight make your column a bit less flippent and you’ll attract people ,who really
are concerned about the subject and offer meaningful comments.
You are a good writer and have the seeds of soe excellent ideas.
Bring them to frutition with a different style and you just might
be surprised at the response you receive.
I urge every student from 12 years up to listen to Pres. Obama’s
speech to the school childrenonTuesday 9/8/09. If your teachers
or parents refuse to allow you to view it,go to your computurers and get it on youtube or any other web that broadcasts it.
Parents wake up! This is a new era and your children will be its leaders one day. Do not close your minds to the inevitable -Your
Presidentis a leader like none other you have ever encountered
and although hismethodologies may go against your ingrained
patterns of thought he is not out to dictate to the country how the citizens should think, but why they should think. He is not
trying to be a dictator ,but to save you from a dictator-government controlled country and return you to a free-thinking
independent and strong leader of the free world which you were meant to be.
What a crock of shit.
“Parents wake up! This is a new era and your children will be its leaders one day. Do not close your minds to the inevitable -Your
Presidentis a leader like none other you have ever encountered
and although hismethodologies may go against your ingrained
patterns of thought ” you know he’s going to win eventually so your children may as well learn to like living under the supreme ruler under whom they will be living out the rest of their enslaved lives! Woohoo! A new day dawns. Runners are cowards!
So,Mr. Buchner, you are against free-thinking, against America
remaining leader of the free world. Who would you rather have do the job, Dick Cheney or Sarah Palin. We are all very fortunate Bush was able to fulfill his term, otherwise I doubt whether we
would be heading down the road to economic, social and health care reform we are presently travelling. Its not going to happen
overnight because we didn’t get into the mess we are in in the
whisper of a moment. Pres. Obama has the knowledge, foresight, insight and intelligence to make these positive changes because heis NOT like any other Pesident we have ever had. I’d be willing
to bet ‘Ol’ Harry (the buck stops here) Truman is loudly applauding him wherever Harry is now.
As fornthe children, they are America’s future and what better role model to follow than a man, who actually CARES about the
future of our country.
It is people of your ilk, who make it difficult for the rest of the citizens, who slavishly inhale all of the partisian and bi-partisian smokescreens the politicians and Congress erects.
Wake up and stop attempting to twist words and sentiments into your own narrow convouleted patters of thought and then try to influence others to do the same. It “ain’t” gonna work ,Buster;
there are too many people out there,who can think for themsevesand have the ability todiscern the truth from the chaff. Incidentalyy a course in English grammer mightnot change your ridiculous remarks, but it would certainly assist
you in correctly elucidating your prejudical propaganda.
Ok, you’re done.
We still have freedom of speech in this country,don’t we?
I’m concerned that we retain our other freedoms also and pass
them on to our children and the rest of the world. If to get that point across sarcasm and bluntness must be employed so be it.Incidentally, I would think you would want political controverseynin your site. That’s what America is about, isn’t it?
Take that away and you’ll have what you fear the most. Its what
made America great,among other things. No Jason, Imight be finished on your site; you’re the editor, but I “ain’t” done yet,not by a Cretan mile. Hillary Bartholomew
We are close, very close to passsing a health care reform billit
its not perfect, but its a start and imperfections can be over time corrected. We have never had a bill of this or any other or this magnitude. Callyour senatorsa d representatives, and
regbs.alike demand they override the lobbbyists and get the job done once and for all.
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